It turns out that there are a lot of versions of the song Beds Are Burning by Midnight Oil. Let's listen to 45 of them and try to think of something interesting to say about each one.
We made this list a while ago and it's only versions that are on Spotify so if your favourite version of the song Beds Are Burning by Midnight Oil isn't covered here then feel free to call this list "invalid" in the comments but know that we will aggressively adopt the position known as Scully's Field directly into your face. 45 is enough, you animals!
Do you think all these 45 bands thought they were being really clever by covering Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil? "Let's find an obscure olden days song to cover. People will be really surprised."
Before we start we must give a shout out to the master of listening to too many things and then writing about them, the lovely Paul Stephenson. Check out his work here. He writes proper books and everything!
1. Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil - Midnight Oil
The original and best version of Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil is Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil. Released in 1987 it was the first single we ever bought (from Woolworths, tha knows) alongside The Look by Roxette.
It is a reyt song and you can't really argue with the sentiment behind it so we imagine there are a lot of respectful covers out there which focus on the song's message and help to continue the fight for justice for indigenous people across the world.
Let's have a look shall we?
2. Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil - Novaspace
Hey it's a eurodance version! In the video for this, Novaspace represent the mistreatment of indigenous people by white Australians by having the singer push different versions of herself around in flashing cubes. This teaches us that European colonists and the Pintupi are just the same really and we should stop pushing each other around in flashing cubes and just be friends. We are all part of the same wall of flashing cubes (planet Earth).
By making a dance version of the song, Novaspace prove that we can indeed dance while our beds are burning so these aborigines should probably just shut up moaning and get on with it, yeah?
Novaspace appear to only do covers so if you're after eurodance versions of Run to You, Time After Time and Wicked Game then these lot have got your back.
3. Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil - Crystal Tears
Some Greek cock rock. These guys have a song called Rock n Growl which goes
Rock is bleeding from my eyes
Blood brothers, metally insane
It's rock until we fall, our metal horror show
Highway to Hell with Devil's train
This version of Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil features some sweeet guitar solos.
The themes of the song are explored in the video by having a woman clubbed around the face by be-balaclava'd baddies. Then some people in black t-shirts save her by shooting the balaclava blokes in the brains and setting one of the balaclavas on fire.
What Crystal Tears are saying here is that metallers are a bit like aborigines but better because they will shoot their enemies with guns instead of just moaning on. The on-fire balaclava represents the titular on-fire beds although a balaclava is not big enough to sleep on.
4. Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil - Black Bomb A
Sweet Zombie Jesus this is the worst thing in the world! It sounds like Cookie Monster and Cartman doing karaoke on a stag do in Blackpool while their mates fight some locals outside.
In the video Vin Diesel and that bloke out of Kasabian shout into the camera while their mates are given instruments for the first time and try to work out how to play them.
This is so bad that we had to do a little Black Bomb A research. Here are some of their best lyrics:
You know da world has many problems,
but you you don't care
You think you're simply da best, but at last you won't share
You smile, yes you smile, and you criticise the others
I know your simply da best, but da best to kill the earth
(Get Out Da Bastards)
When they judge you however
your actions they were good or bad
At first, show respect for yourself and others
Soon they will eat your brain,
Like dogs shot up with L.S.D.
Deaf to their bullshit, Keep on making your own way
(Shoot at the Gossip)
Hero - No ; Leader - No
Master - No ; Killer - No
Rapist - No ; Liar - No
Cruel - No ; Fucker - No
Hero - No ; Leader - No
Master - No ; Killer - No
Rapist - No ; Liar - No
I'm just sorry to be myself
5. Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil - Loveshack
These guys look fun.
Google Translate tells us that "Loveshack is one of Norway's most popular bands for events, corporate parties and kickoffs, and the list of satisfied customers is both long and impressive."
It looks like these guys are available to perform faithful covers of Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil, You Give Love a Bad Name and Neverending Story at your festival, work away day or fight.
Interestingly they have chosen to name themselves after The Worst Song In The World.
6. Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil - The Everymen
Another very standard cover. You can hear the voice of a woman singing in little bits of the chorus. Yet another example of men being excluded. The band is called The Everymen, not the Everymenandawoman. Leading MRAs are quite rightly furious about this.
7. Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil - Red & Josh Dupont
More pumping dance here from these two cheeky fellows. Those opening chords (which are now permanently embedded into our brains) are teased throughout a (very very) long intro. You can imagine the excitement in The Club when those chords are first teased.
Then it just goes on for ages!
Seriously though, this intro goes on for the longest time! Finally, over three minutes in it feels like the drop is about to come. It's got to be brilliant after all this build up hasn't it?
8. Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil - Commercial Radio Group
This appears to be from an album full of those versions of songs you get in supermarkets that try to mimic the original as closely as possible but don't get it quite right because they are using Uncle Keith's old Casio.
It turns out that these albums are on Spotify now so you can choose to listen to the Uncle Keith versions rather than the real ones. What a time to be alive.
We've noticed from these covers that people feel the need to copy Ian Midnight Oil's unusual voice. This guy has a lovely time pronouncing the word "degrees". It sounds like "degooers" so well done him.
9. Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil - Eve To Adam
You can tell we've been listening to too many versions of Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil because our first reaction on hearing this one was, "hey this is pretty good." It's not.
Hang on a minute though, these guys have changed the lyrics! WTF! The desert lives and breathes at 45 degrees not 95 degrees and certainly not 105 degrees! Maybe it's a Celsius/Fahrenheit thing? Unit Converter says no.
Also they're saying "It belongs to us/Let's take it back." What are you up to, Mr. Claypole and friends? Is this a response song like No Pigeons by Sporty Thievz? Is it a Brexit anthem about Taking Back Control?
Looking at their album artwork I think it's a safe bet that they're actually talking about the poooo-sayyy.
10. Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil - Hoffman Circus
This is OK. It sounds a bit different. Not much to say about it. Their gigs look good though.
Strong bio too.
Hoffman Circus is an entertainment orchestra with extensive experience of musical, danceable and engaging entertainment. Hoffman Circus has an extensive repertoire of carefully selected music. Their selection of music works equally well for corporate management teams and ski bums.
Turns out it's the American version of "bum". It's funny because it sounds like "arse". Like that Dillinger Escape Plan song Gold Teeth on a Bum. It sounds like an arse with teeth, which is funny.
11. Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil - The Big Chest
This is a very cheap sounding cover by a band with a terrible name from a compilation album of cheap sounding covers by bands with terrible names called Rock to Mach-One, which is a terrible name.
As well as The Big Chest's version of Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil, you can enjoy Nothing Else Matters by Iron Arms, Let's Get Rocked by The Blind Cat and Your Mama Don't Dance by Sour Cream.
It's proving difficult to track down any further information on The Big Chest. Spotify only throws up one other song which is a cheap cover of Paul Johnson's 1999 international house hit Get Get Down, (you'll know it when you hear it) which appears on disc three of La Rumba Del Siglo Tres - La Rumba Tropical / Clásicos Bailables / La Rumba Juvenil.
Which type of big chest do you think it is?
12. Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil - Marina Celeste, Terry Hall
It's the John Lewis Christmas advert version we've all been waiting for.
In the advert that this version of Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil plays under, an aboriginal child is unable to sleep on Christmas Eve because colonising Europeans have set fire to her bed and murdered her parents. She knows that Santa won't come if she doesn't go to sleep so she begins to resign herself to the fact that she'll be getting no Christmas presents this year.
A handsome murderous colonist sees the sad child and feels bad. He logs on to the John Lewis website and places an order which is delivered instantly via a drone clad in Father Christmas livery.
He carries the box to the small child and encourages her to open it.
Inside there is a fire extinguisher. Together they use the fire extinguisher on the burning bed.
They begin to dance.
But wait, there are more gifts inside the box; some lovely clothes from the John Lewis clothing department.
The girl and the colonist take the clothes and together they dress the girl's murdered parents, sit them at a table and enjoy Christmas dinner together.
Everybody cries and sales of fire extinguishers reach record levels.
13. Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil - The Undercover Brothers
It's a reggae cover. It's alright.
This has nothing to do with hit 2002 action comedy Undercover Brother.
As far as we can tell these are not the same Undercover Brothers whose music career sparked off when they won the auditions and represented Uganda in the sixth season of East Africa's biggest singing competition Tusker Project Fame.
We're pretty sure it's not New Zealand wedding band Undercover Brother cos that's only one brother.
It could be covers band Undercover Brothers from South Carolina. It says on their website that they sometimes do reggae.
It's definitely not Undercover Brothers the Hardy Boys either.
14. Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil - White Cadillac
The album that this is on is called Classy Ride for Sleazy People and it has a song on it called Girl Likes Girls. You can imagine what it sounds like.
The drummer of White Cadillac is also in a band called Kitchen Knife Conspiracy who have an album called Handicapitated. There's a song on that album called V8 Superpussy which has some of the world's worst lyrics. Look it up if you dare.
15. Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil - Fast Beat Inc.
This is supposed to be a ska version. It sounds like someone has pressed the ska button on Uncle Keith's Casio.
It's from an album called Skaship which has very strong artwork.
Fast Beat Inc. like FBI!
Their YouTube bio says, "The company that investigates fast tempos - loving the speed, the heartbeat, intense sweating and ecstatic dancing. Prove your beat -- raise your speed and the crowd will dance!" which is nice.
They do Boney M medleys and look like this.
One of the songs on Skaship is called Jamaica Tourist Information. It's about a white person visiting Jamaica. He doesn't know where to go or what to do. He sees "ganja in every hand." He gets his guidebook out and decides to ring Jamaica Tourist Information.
In the chorus, someone from Jamaica Tourist Information answers the phone and sings nice things about Jamaica.
They. Do. The. Voice. You know, like Mike Read on UKIP Calypso?
It's from 2013 though and those were different times.
That's all we can handle for now. If you really want to you can check out the playlist for Part 1 here. Stay tuned for Part 2.
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