When I was 8 we did the Hindenberg disaster at school and we had to write a newspaper report about the event. The report needed to include interviews with eye witnesses. My eye witnesses were Margaret Thatcher, James Bond and Treguard.
When asked to describe the crash, James Bond said "It scared the living daylights out of me."
Treguard responded to all questions by shouting either "FALSEHOOD!" or "TRUTH ACCEPTED!"
I can't remember what Thatcher did but I bet it was something hilarious. (This would be an excellent sentence for enemies to take out of context.)
The report also contained all the facts about the event which we had learned about over the preceding days.
I was extremely proud of what I had produced and was fully expecting my creativity to be highly praised. What actually happened was that I had to stay in at playtime and re-write the whole thing. I was furious. I am still furious. So, Mr. Baker, I have my own bastard website now and you can't do a thing about it.
If you like this, why not try these?
New columnist Hazel Rendlescroft-Marvey opinions her comments all up in your brains.