In metal and, indeed, in riff, there are many hundreds of common experiences, feelings, situations and even objects which we all know and recognize, but for which no words exist. This text uses band names (and one song title) to describe some of these meanings.
Adebesi Shank The empty semi circle of awkwardness in front of the stage.
Agrimonia The exact moment when you realise you are too old for the pit.
Anaal Nathrakh The moment of enlightenment when a band realises that all their fans are terrible.
Aosoth The man who will be ruining the gig for you tonight.
Assück The act of shouting out first EP song titles in between songs at gigs to demonstrate that you have been into the band longer than anyone else in attendance.
Awrizis Unidentified solution thrown from back of the pit.
Borknagar Abandoning a vinyl purchase at checkout when the shipping comes out more than the record.
Fimbulwinter Going back online a few minutes after Borknagar and buying the record anyway.
Baxaxaxa The pretend price given to one’s significant other when asked about costs incurred during Borknagar and Fimbulwinter.
Blasphamagoatachrist A metal edgelord.
Blut aus Nord The area on the edge of the pit occupied by those experiencing early onset Agrimonia.
Bosse-de-Nage The first hour at the rock club where you take in your own CDs and you and your legend mate dance on your own.
Offside The act of googling a phrase + “band” because you think there’s probably a hardcore band called that.
A Day To Remember A man explaining to a woman why it’s not OK for her to enjoy the music of the band A Day To Remember.
Deez Nuts! Celebratory shout on successful outcome of Offside.
Descanting the Insalubrious Unliking a favourite band’s Facebook page because the people on there are too terrible.
Drudkh The first 2 minutes of tension when you're hearing a metal band for the first time and are waiting to find out what the vocals are like.
Effluvia The contents of a backpack worn in the pit or at the rock club during Bosse-de-Nage.
Gorguts The sound of a man shouting along to riffs directly into a woman’s ear.
Windhand A man tapping out riffs on a woman’s arm. Often combined with Gorguts.
Negative Approach A man standing behind a woman, reaching his arms around her and playing aggressive air bass very close to the eyes.
Havukruunu The rarely seen combination of Gorguts, Windhand and Negative Approach.
Helmet A man who shouts out funny stuff at Opeth gigs.
Hoobastank Hearing someone saying that something is Hardcore when you know that it is in fact not Hardcore.
Korpiklaani The absolute state of the comments on a band’s Facebook page. Copious Korpiklaani often leads to Descanting the Insalubrious and Anaal Nathrakh.
Mamaleek The black stuff on the floor at gigs.
Mindheavy Mustard What you get after piecing together all the overheard snippets of conversations after walking along the queue outside a Five Finger Death Punch gig.
Negura Bunget Doing everyday things in an unnecessarily aggressive way because being aggressive is “metal”.
Shylmagoghnar The week long ritual of deciding on the correct t-shirt to wear to a gig.
Thantifaxath Standing next to a band member and thinking that you should probably say something to them but not saying anything to them.
Ufomammut The act of enjoying the Load albums.
Utter Bastard Varg
Wiegedood An individual who takes the occult elements of metal a bit too seriously.
Yog Sothots Small drops of Awrizis which land on your skin.
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