Are we all excited about the Ready Player One film? It's going to be a lovely time for people who enjoy remembering things that exist and then seeing the things that they remember. Reading the names of the things that we remember in a book was pretty exciting but now we're going to be able to see moving images of the things that exist. We might even be able to hear the noises that the things make.
One time, in Andy's back garden, we put Skeletor in Big Trak and made it move about. It was cool because it looked like Skeletor was driving Big Trak. Big Trak wasn't in the He-Man cartoons, the usual vehicles were the Road Ripper and the Attack Track but both Skeletor and Big Trak are things that exist and we remembered them and put them together and said things like "Skeletor is driving Big Trak."
Hopefully the Ready Player One film will have some bits in it where a thing that exists that we remember is near another thing that we also remember. This will help us to remember the things and we can say things like "I remember that".
Nowadays people can make a lot of money by remembering things and saying the names of those things. Back in Andy's back garden it was more of an innocent pastime but now it's a multi million pound industry which can make bad wankers very famous.
We did some journalism and asked some of the word's biggest wankers to tell us about the things that they remember. Hopefully this will get us some of that lucrative remembering things $.
Paul Joseph Watson
Champion of the self-own and regular spiller of historical struggle sauce Paul Joseph Watson is a big fan of remembering things but it took him a few goes to remember something correctly during our interview. Eventually he remembered an olden days film for us.
"You probably don't remember it, I remember it, but there was a film called The Matrix that I remember. In The Matrix a man goes on YouTube (when his sister is finally off the phone so the internet can work) and says some stuff about how terrible women and foreigners are. Then he has an Opal Fruit and gets Strength of the Bear and fights leftards. This is one of the things that I remember. I also remember that time when I shat myself in town because the toilet seat in Woolworths was pink and I refused to partake in the continued emasculation of the Male. This was a formative moment for me and is one of the things that I remember most frequently."
Keeping-it-in-the-family advocate, dangerous psychopath and raw potato eater Jacob Rees-Mogg loves remembering things so much that he has stopped noticing new things. He hasn't noticed a new thing since September 15 1867 when the Dynamikos Sheta-Maat Spellbook: A book of the powerful hidden truth, a grimoire by Ciara Sullivan, was published to widespread displeasure.
"I like to remember really old things from the olden days when things were much better. Just now for example I have remembered cholera and yesterday I remembered the infant mortality rate of 1840. Lovely stuff. Sometimes I remember women but I don't really enjoy remembering that so I quickly try to remember something else like the Gasconade Bridge train disaster and I feel much better."
Yer Da and his golf mates
Yer Da and his definitely not racist golf mates are keen rememberers of things. They only agreed to be interviewed as a group so it was difficult to hear exactly what they were remembering as they were all shouting directly into our face at the same time. Some of it definitely sounded a bit racist, though.
We had a good time listening to wankers remember things and then telling us the names of the things that they were remembering. We can see how it has become so popular. We'll end this by posting a few of the things that we remember. Hopefully you will also remember the things and as you see them you will be able to say, "I remember that," and then give us some money.
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